Photo from my last blog posting at 38 weeks, right before I had Colin.
It has been almost one year since Colin first came into our lives and I'm having trouble finding the right words to describe what this year has been like. New, exciting, humorous, exhausting, different, amazing, blessed…
It really has gone by in a whirlwind – just like everyone tells you - and I look back thinking of moments I wish I had captured (monthly photo #fail) or projects and plans I had made and didn't finish (I think I still have the last 5 months of photos to print and I've scrapbooked maybe two pages since he was born)…and you know what, it doesn't matter.
So I guess I now take pride in knowing that all these little things – though they would have been cool to have done or have something to show for – they really don't stack up to just "being" there for Colin.
I'd like to think I made a really hard effort this year to "be" there in the moment for Colin. As every day he grew, the more and more things clicked inside me as a Mom. Colin doesn't care about the lofty goals I had in mind while pregnant (HA!), he just wants me to make sure that sippy cup is filled ASAP, let him chase the kitty cats around and throw toys for Rocco, a snuggly chest to lay on here and there for good measure…..and to be LOVED.
I finally GET that mother instinct. And I totally feel a horrible sense of sadness when I read stories of other mom's with sick babies like this one, this or this. It's saddening and scary to think of something like that happening to your own child. So many prayers for those families….
I've read that children are little angels just on loan from heaven. So very true. They are such little blessings….I have a new sense of amazement and happiness every time I hear when one of my friends has a new little one on the way…or when I see other new mom's to be…I think to myself, "you have no idea how AMAZING and WONDERFUL life will be with that new little one in it, and I can't wait for you to find out just what this secret Mama club feels like."
I'm always reminding myself to squeeze him a little tighter, kiss him a dozen more times than I already do, and remember to get down on the ground and let him climb, drool and giggle all over me. That IS being in the moment. And there is no other place I'd rather be.
Thank you God for granting me this amazing blessing.