And I exhale and smile. Just yesterday I was wishing his little squishy baby legs would walk.
Today I am catching my breath or sighing in relief when there is a little moment of quiet stillness.
The other weekend I was invited to a friend’s baby shower. I personally designed the invitations, helped with some of the details. I was really excited to see the decorations and visit with friends. And I brought C with me because I was happy to let him play with some of his little buddies.
Rule #1 Mommyhood: Things never going accordingly to plan. Deal with it.
15 minutes later I was in the car with tears streaming down my face and my visiting from out of town friend consoling me. I had to admit I was jealous because no one else was chasing their toddler around. Weaving in and out of groups of ladies chatting, I was keeping him from touching buttons on the hot stove, pepperjack cheese cubes out of his hands, putting wine bottles back in wine stands, away from glasses of mimosas.
I couldn’t do it. So I smiled, scooped him up and took the easy way out.
My friend pointed out that no one probably even noticed us. But I did, and I cared about what other people thought. I had this happy little rosy picture in my mind how he would sit on my lap playing with a little toy…I would chat happily with my friends…we would all ooh and ahh over the cute pink baby things. Yes, I was living in la-la-land. Toddlers don’t exist in and la-la-land.
And so I had to get real that day and embrace this new stage of parenting we have entered. I remember when I was pregnant my Mom and everyone else would always say, “oh just think of how you’re going to lose all that weight chasing him around!” So does this mean I’ll be back to a circa-2006 size 4 by Christmas? ;)