I think I need to get that book. Man’s Search For Meaning.
I read the latest issue of O magazine on the plane out here to Vegas. The whole day was a blur as I ran through the same thoughts in my mind…what am I doing here? Why am I getting on a plane? What is the purpose of all this? Why can’t I be home playing with my dog or pulling weeds in the front yard……is this what I want to do for the rest of my life?
Then Big Girl Panties Amber says…Because I’m a grown up. That’s why. I have a job, that requires me to travel on occasion and I have to suck it up and go. Sinus infection and all.
And here I sit in a hotel room staring out the window of a place I used to call home, but really all I can think about is being at my real home now.
At the same time, if I were home, I’d be busying myself with the endless to-do list both in and out of work that doesn’t ever go away. Just going through the actions and the motions of life. And somehow the last year has just flown by.
I was looking for recent photos to scrapbook and I had none. The last few months were just some random photos of some tulips and flowers…maybe the dog or cat. I think my photo subjects have been played out.
B said it best a few weeks ago. "I think life is just passing us by. It seems as if we don’t have much to live for to look forward to…I think that a baby would change all that…" And I think he’s right. –No, we’re not having kids just yet, we still have that thing called a wedding to do in 5 months — but yeah, I think we’re ready. Ready to bring a new experience and happiness in our lives. Our friends around us have embarked on that adventure and I think we’re jealous of that special joy they have.
Something to have a purpose for.
-just a few random thoughts. :)